Imagine, if Gore were a president...  After September 11th we would embrace the policy of appeasement, foolishly believing that America is to blame for the terrorist attacks.  Eventually Muslims would be allowed to take over the US to teach us peaceful and righteous teachings of Islam... Just imagine...

  (This page contains materials send to me by my friends.  I thought they were really funny, so I decided to share them with you)

And that's what we would see on TV:


8:00 – My 33 Sons

8:30 – Osama knows Best

9:00 - I Dream of Mohammed

9:30 - Let's Mecca Deal

10:00 - The Kabul Hillbillies


8:00 - Husseinfeld

9:00 - Mad About Everything

9:30 - Monday Night Stoning

10:00 - Win Bin Laden's Money

10:30 - Allah McBeal


8:00 - Wheel of Terror

8:30 - The Price is Right if Osama Says it's Right

9:00 - Children are Forbidden from Saying the Darndest Things

9:30 - Taliban's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers

10:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer


8:00 - Beat the Press

8:30 - When Kurds Attack

9:00 - Two Guys, a Girl, and Pita Bread

9:30 - Just Shoot Everyone

10:00 - Veilwatch



8:00 - Fatima Loves Chachi

8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H

9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils

9:30 - Married with 139 Children

10:00 - Eye for an Eye Witness News


8:00 - Judge Saddam

8:30 - Suddenly Sanctions

9:00 - Who Wants to Marry a Terrorist Millionaire?

9:30 - Cave and Garden Television

10:00 - No-Witness News



8:00 - Spongebob Squareturban

8:30 - Who's Koran Is It Anyway?

9:00 - Teletalibans

9:30 - Camel 54, Where Are You?


Now, I present to you my version of tv programming we might have had if we were ruled by Islamic extremists.

(On your right (below) you see my version of Victoria's Secret's annual show).

1. How about "Celebrity Survivor Iraq", where all the liberal anti-war Hollywood celebrities would be send to live in Iraq.  The show would eventually turn into "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!" show.

2. How about "Who wants to marry a multi-millionaire?" Unlike the American version, where the contestants didn't get to see the face of their potential groom until the very end, in a Muslim version the groom wouldn't see the burka-covered faces of his potential brides until he ties the not.

3. How about Iraqi Idol?  The only contestants on the show whose voices could be heard would be Saddam Hussein and his generals.  Of course Saddam would always win, because the country would vote only for him.  As for judges: Randy would have five minders, Paula would be veiled all the time and wouldn't be allowed to voice her opinions and Simon would be tortured every time he'd make one of his comments about Saddam.

4. How about "the Bachelor" Muslim version?  It would start just like the American show with thirty women competing for the attention of one guy.  However, at the end the bachelor would be able to choose up to four women to marry and the rest of the women would be publicly beheaded for promiscuous behavior. :)

5. How about a show based on arranged marriages?  There would be a group of men and women who've never met each other before and their friends and family would decide on who would marry who.  Hold on, Fox is already doing that one...